Chiropractor Aftermath

November 11, 2011

You know when you get warned about something and you acknowledge it, but when it actually happens you start freaking out regardless? Yeah, I’m starting to get that right now from the aftermath of what that nasty man did to me!

I’ve spent all day making sure my posture has been right at work, raising the chair, changing the angle of the chair, changing the back of the chair….all to make sure that my back is straight, and that my neck is being supported by the rest of my body. It’s all been alright until towards the end, but my collerbone has started to really ache. I’ve been warned that there will be some soreness after the treatment, but I start raising my own concerns by repeating the obvious in my head.

“He’s adjusted my back, why am I still hurting? This is not meant to happen! I’m meant to be fixed!”

By raising these concerns I make things worse, and I start to even doubt the treatment

“What if he’s made things worse? What if he is some kind of madman who wants to see young men in their underwear?! He probably isn’t even a Chiropractor!”

Thankfully, I’ve been able to gain control of my brain and body again and started to throw away any bad thoughts, but it doesn’t take away the pain. They always say “It will get better before they get worse” – let’s hope they are right!


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There’s something very wrong in saying that today was the day I had to strip down to my boxers so that an elderly man can touch me in many places. I suppose that is the very wrong way to express this though, as it did happen but not in the way you’re thinking now you dirty beggers!

I have been having problems with my back lately…..well for a long time actually, but finally got myself to see a Chiropractor in the Isle of Wight. Watchbell House does not look like a Chiropractice from the outside, it just looks like a council house with a posh sign outside in all honesty. I walked in, 10 minutes late thanks to my lying phone, and was greeted by a man that was to be my chiropractor for the next hour or so. He’s not really an “elderly man” as I said earlier, but he was probably twice my age.

After 30 minutes of talking and trying to analyse what could have possibly been the reason for my back to be so painful, he was ready to assess the damage. This required to strip down to my boxers so that he could see my back and neck to see what was wrong. It was soon pretty obvious what was wrong.

When I went to the Chiropractor, I thought this was me:

Me entering Chirpractor

It was shortly into my assessment that I realised that the above picture would not stay the same again. As I sat upright and he scanned my spine a few times he informed me that my spine was curved. This was only a temporary curve though because when I leant forward the curve disappeared. Surely you probably think “then keep leaning forward then” – well, quite the opposite, the reason Im in so much pain is because of my bad posture. So now we’re looking at a picture like this:

Check out my curves!

Not good! Not quite the curves I was hoping for but never mind, I’m sure he could fix it right? Well, he told me to lie on my back and I was thinking “how can he assess my back if I’m lying on it?!” – well, he then check my pelvis, and then move towards my feet and kneels down. At this point I’m kind of nervous, mainly because I think feet are gods worst invention when it comes to humans, maybe apart from the appendix because they are really useful in a human right?! He then drops the second bombshell. “You’re left leg is about this┬ámuch longer than the right leg”. By this┬áhe showed the distance with his thumb and finger, it was about an inch. A WHOLE INCH DIFFERENCE! I felt like my walk should have been so wonky that I deserved to have someone playing the Tuba behind me as I walked everywhere! (Family Guy reference ­čÖé ).

This did not mean that one leg is in fact too long, it means that my pelvis was mis-aligned. So mis-aligned that one leg happened to be quite a bit lower than the other! Yeah, you know what I’m thinking, picture update:

Cant walk like this!

Of course, because of this difference I’ve bee made aware that my body will compensate for this change and will lean over to walk properly, another change to the picture:

oh.....NOW I can walk!

As you can see….that ain’t right otherwise id see the world on an angle! That’s where the joy of the neck pain comes into play, because the neck adjusts too! NEW PICTUUUURE:

Now I'm really pissed off!

Yeah, he made my day alright. I am quite concerned that if I really did look like the last picture….why on earth did my friends not tell me that I’m walking funnier than the hunchback of┬áNotre┬ádame?!

So after 30 minutes of adjustments, that cause my spine to straighten, my pelvis to go back to it’s normal form, I’m now back to my normal form!

It’s VERY important that I get a lot of things done from now on though, otherwise I will spend a fortune going back and forth from the Chiropractice. The main this is get my hamstring a lot more flexible, a LOT more flexible! This is the main reason my back has deteriorated so much since I quit football (still no regrets, shit sport!) On top of that I need to get my calfs more flexible also. These two are causing my body to forcefully stretch out of the posture I should be in. This will require contant stretching at work, he did show me one stretch but to be honest, it just looks too dirty to be performing this stretch at work, especially with the dirty minds that I happen to work with! I wouldnt hear the last of it if they saw me put my legs up and bending forward as much as I can whilst holding the back of my legs….I think you get where I’m going here!

I’m so glad I went to see the Chiropractor, he made me realise that my body was way worse than I thought it was, and if I wouldn’t have gone, it could have got a lot worse! Now all I have to do is make sure my seating position is good, and I constantly do my stretching everyday! *gulp*

I would like to take this time to thank my chiropractor, who did an amazing job! You gave me reasons to my pain that nobody else has managed previously!